


All I Will Know...

by AgentHawk11



Category: All Rise (TV 2019)
Genre: Best Friends, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Male-Female Friendship, Possibly Unrequited Love, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21667732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentHawk11/pseuds/AgentHawk11
Summary: “He made promises to himself to not think like this. But here he was, in her chambers, strolling down memory lane, indulging in his wayward thoughts.“
Relationships: Lola Carmichael & Mark Callan
Comments: 26
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, you see... *throws fic out and hides*

“Luke,” Mark greeted as he strolled through the courtroom on his way to the judge’s chambers.

Luke, who had his feet up on his desk, book in lap, using the room after hours for a quiet place to study, responded, “Mark.” He’d long ago given up on trying to convince Mark that he wasn’t allowed in Lola’s chambers. After the third time Mark finessed his way past him he’d let it go. Lola was always happy to see him and there was no harm done.

Mark stopped at the door and looked back at Luke. Without looking at him, Luke held up an okay symbol with his hand. It was their signal that it was safe for him to enter. He didn’t need Sherri and Brenner finding him, as his habit was making sure to sneak when he thinks they’ve gone for the day.

He walked through the door and back to find Lola’s chambers empty. He found it odd as she was always here around this time. He looks around the chambers to see that Lola has added a few more trinkets, made the place more hers. 

As he walks up to her desk he spots the photos: it’s a tri-picture frame with three pictures of the two of them. Looking from left to right, the first was taken the day she graduated law school. He remembered he and Lola being completely wired and in complete disbeliefthat they actually graduated. He had the same picture somewhere in his apartment. The second was a picture, someone had snuck of them, he couldn’t remember who, while they were celebrating Lola’s first case win as DDA. He remembered sitting in the courtroom to observe almost the entire case, watching her be the badass she always was and his wallet not being too happy with him the next day. The third picture was the day of her swearing in as a judge. He’d never seen her happier and he’d never been more proud of her. He knew how hard she worked for it and how much she wanted it.

Putting the frame back in it’s place, he turned towards the couch to see the picture of Uhuru on the side table and their signature bottle of whiskey underneath. He chuckled as he as he sat and grabbed the bottle. Instantly, he was transported back to his and Lola’s apartment back in law school. The alcohol fueled study breaks and Star Trek marathons. 

He missed those days. Though he still saw her almost daily, he missed a lot of things about the way they used to be back then. The way they couldn’t be anymore since she’d gotten into a committed relationship and gotten married. He made promises to himself to not think like this. But here he was, in her chambers, strolling down memory lane, indulging in his wayward thoughts.

Don’t get him wrong, he was thankful for the relationship they still had. That solid consistency. The way he could count on her her being there, no matter what. That’s why he never risked it. He wanted to, god, did he want to. The opportunity presented itself and they had a couple of stress relieving nights together under their belts, but he never took that leap. He just could never bring himself to ruin them. They never really talked about it, but he knew Lola felt the same way.

That’s why he was happy when she met Robyn. He was good man, great one, really, and good for her. He would never get in the way of that no matter how his subconscious feels. All he’d ever want for her was her happiness. As for himself, he was okay. He stopped looking for what he knew he wouldn’t be able to find, the best was already taken. He’s content with second best being all he’ll ever know as far as his love life was concerned.

“They really need to amp up security because you are always back here.” The sound of Lola’s voice startled him from his thoughts.

His lips curled in a little half smile before saying, “you know you love it.”

Her saw her smirk in response as she walked over to where he sat and sat beside. She took the bottle from him, “do I even want to ask what you’re doing in here?”

“Looking for a drink,” he tried to take the bottle from her but he pulled it back out of his reach.

“You know you’re buying the next one right?”

“Fair enough.” He removed his shoes and put his feet on her coffee table.

He saw her smile as she got the glasses out for them. He was good them right where they were. As long as this woman was in his life, he was okay.


	2. Another Point of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The “nowhere,” was on the tip of her tongue, knowing how dangerous strolls down memory lane could be, but she went there anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After several requests for a second part, it’s finally written.
> 
> Thank you for the unexpected response to the first chapter! I hope you enjoy this just as much.

_ The jingling of the keys alerted Lola that her mom was home. Pausing the movie she was watching, she turned her head to see that her mom wasn’t the only one walking through the door. In front of her, was this dirty blonde white boy, that looked about to be her age, in ill fitting clothes with a black eye and bruise under his cheek. Now this wasn’t an uncommon occurrence as she was well known to bring her work home with her and the people, too, but there was something different about this, about him. _

_ Lola looked him over, meeting his eyes for just a second before he averted them to the floor and closed himself off to her. Her mom laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Lola, this is Mark,” she introduced, “he’s gonna be staying with us for a few days.” _

_ Of course he was. _

_ She could say a lot of things, but the only thing she settled on was “okay,” with nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. It was the only thing she could say that wouldn’t be absolutely meaningless. _

_ “It’s just while I’m helping out his father and while he gets through some legal stuff.” She gave his shoulder a few more pats. Her mom looked down at Mark, seeing him still closed off and looking at the floor. Her mom put her hand under his chin and lifted his face towards hers, “everything’s going to be alright,” she told him with confidence. _

_ Lola watched as Mark’s features shifted and gave her mom a small, lopsided grin before saying “I know.” It was clear from the slight rasp in his voice it was the first time he’d talked in a while. _

_ Her mom let him go and Mark looked back at Lola. He held her gaze for a few seconds before she offered him a slightly awkward grimace before moving back to the couch to finish her movie. “Well make yourself at home Mark. We’ll fix up the couch for you,” that last part was said way louder than necessary.  _

_ Lola inwardly groaned and turned the movie off completely knowing it was over. She put the VHS away, cleaned the couch, throwing away her now cold, slightly stale popcorn. Making sure grabbed all of her things, she made her way towards the stairs. “It’s all yours,” she told him as pleasantly as she could muster before heading towards her room. _

_ A few hours and an obvious bout of insomnia later, Lola lied awake in her bed, thoughts racing. It wasn’t that she did appreciate who her mom was and what she did for people, she loved that actually, Lola just wished that she had more of an opinion when it came to things like this. Like the job came first and she just had to accept everything that came along with that. Scrubbing her hand down her face, she stopped the train of thought before she could get too deep into it. Again. _

_ Lola huffed and kicked the covers off, deciding to go downstairs. She crept, not wanting to make too much noise in case Mark was sleeping. When she got to the bottom of the stairs she saw that couch was empty. As she walked further in to the kitchen, she saw him at the island, staring intently at a half full glass of orange juice. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, she was gonna leave him alone, but her gut was telling her to say something. “Um do you need anything?” _

_ “No I’m fine,” he mumbled, not breaking the staring contest with his orange juice. _

_ Another cue to leave well enough alone, but Lola being Lola, that wasn’t going to happened. She turned around, placing her water on the edge of the counter, she went straight to the drawer where the first aid kit was kept. Silently, she placed the kit on the counter and sat at the stool next him. _

_ Mark glanced at her curiously. “Turn towards me,” Lola told him. _

_ “What? Why?” _

_ “Just do it.” _

_ Mark turned his body to face her completely. As he did, she put some ointment on a Q-tip and was about use it on the cut under his eye when he backed away from her. “What are you doing?” _

_ “That cut’s gonna get infected if you leave it open like that,” he still eyed her skeptically, “it’s just ointment.” _

_ He met her eyes and brought his face back within her reach. Sensing permission, she went on with cleaning and dressing his wound. _

_ “So, do you make it a habit of fixing up strangers that come in your house or am  I just special?” He asked. _

_ She faltered a bit, not expecting the question. Recovering quickly she gave him a small smirk before saying, “well, most of them don’t come in her looking like they’ve had their ass handed to ‘em.” She placed and smoothed the bandage under her eye. _

_ Mark faked offense, “I did not have my ass handed to me,” he assured. _

_ “Uh huh,” she humored as she cleaned up the supplies. _

_ “I didn’t! In fact, you should see the other guy.” _

_ “I think I’ll pass,” she locked kit and went to put it back in its place, “so what happened to you?”When she didn’t hear anything she turned back towards him to see him closing himself off again. This time she took the cue and didn’t push for more out of him. She could understand. Picking up her earlier abandoned water and went to head back to her room. _

_ “I, uh, my dad’s into some stuff,” his voice stopped her, “and these guys were messing with me because it. Lead to a brawl and the police picked us all up. Your mom bailed me out of jail.”  _

_ Lola knew that she was getting the very abridged version of the story, but she knew better than to ask for more. Instead, she tried, “how do you know my mom?” _

_ “I met her the last time I had community service,” was his simple answer. He got up from the table and grabbed his orange juice. _

_ “Thanks for telling me.” _

_ “Thanks for fixing my face. And sorry for taking your couch and ruining you movie.” _

_ Lola gave him a genuine smile, “no problem and it’s fine, I can watch that movie anytime.” _

_ “What movie was it?” _

_ “Uh,” she chuckled nervously, “the second Star Trek movie. The Wrath of Khan.” _

_ “Cool.” _

_ They walked back into the living room, Mark heading towards the couch, Lola the stairs. She’d made it to the first step when she got an idea, “hey Mark, would like to watch the movie with me?” He’d obviously been through and still going through a lot, maybe a movie would take his mind off things. She was still figuring out why she cared about this stranger and his feelings, but the offer still stood. “Unless you’re going to sleep.” _

_ He snorted, “yeah, like I’m going to sleep anytime soon. And yeah, I’m good with watching it.” _

_ “Okay, good.” Heading towards the couch, she put her water down and got the movie set back up. She folded her legs under her as she sat down next to him, careful not to sit on his blanket. “Have you seen it?” _

_ “No, I haven’t but I’ve never been much for nerd shit, so...” _

_ “It’s not nerd shit.” _

_ Mark gave her a pointed look. _

_ “Okay it’s nerd shit, but it’s cool nerd shit.” _

_ Another pointed look from him. _

_ “Just watch the movie.” _

“Lola!” Mark’s voice broke her thoughts. She was instantly transported from her living room back to her chambers. She had to blink a couple of times, unaware she’d completely zoned out. “Jeez, Lo I’ve been calling your name for a while. Where’d you go?”

The “nowhere,” was on the tip of her tongue, knowing how dangerous strolls down memory lane could be, but she went there anyway. “Do you remember the night we met?”

“Of course, what about it?”

Lola smiled. “I was just thinking about it is all.”

“Not like you to wanna take a stroll down memory lane, but I get it. A night like that is pretty hard to forget especially since it kinda changed my whole life around.”

“I just know you were always in my house after that night and I’ve had this white shadow following me around ever since.” 

Mark eyed her playfully. “Ooh, white shadow, now there’s something I haven’t heard in a long time.”

“You know it’s true.”

“Wasn’t it actually your mom that said that about me, well, the first person?”

Lola had to think for a second. “Oh shit, yeah, yeah it was, after she found us in the stairwell at three in the morning, the night before graduation. I remember her calling you that.”

Mark’s smile widened as her took a sip of his whiskey, “the first stairwell conversation. The beginning of an era.”

_ As ready as she was for college, she didn’t think graduating high school would make her as nervous as she was right now. She took the covers off her head and looked at the clock. It was after 3 am, thankfully graduation wasn’t until the afternoon, but she had so much to do before then. She sighed and got up, thinking that maybe going downstairs for a bit would help her. _

_ She walked quietly down the hall. As she approached the stairwell, she saw Mark sitting across the bottom steps. “Hey, couldn’t sleep either?” _

_ “You know me,” Mark turned his head towards her as she sat down on the step above him. _

_ “Yeah, I do. Nervous?” _

_ “Not really, more disbelief than much else. I’m graduating Lo.” Lola loved how proud of himself he sounded. _

_ “Yeah, you are. And you’re going to college.” Lola told as she ruffled his hair playfully. _

_ “Still don’t know how you convinced me of that one.” Mark snorted. _

_ “Eh, you were capable. I just helped you see that.” _

_ Mark surprised her by placing his hand on her thigh, “thank you Lo, for everything.” _

_ “Don’t go getting sappy on me, Mark.” _

_ “Never that. I mean it, though.” _

_ They just sat there in the moment. Looking at each other. It was oddly amazing how much their friendship had grown in the last year. Lola understood that friends come and go, she’d lost a couple already, but this was different, she knew it. _

_ “Lo, I uh-” _

_ “So is this a common thing that’s been happening at three in the morning or is tonight just special?” They were both startled by the sound her mother’s voice. They both turned to see her mom at the top of the stairs. Before either of them could offer an explanation, “save it, I’m not dealing with little miss cranky tomorrow because you’ve had no sleep. You too, white shadow. Go to bed, both of you.” _

_ “Mom we’re 18.” Lola tried, while Mark was trying not to laugh. _

_ “I don’t care how old you think you are. Bed. Both of you. Now.” _

“Your mom scared the shit out of me and I didn’t even remember she called me that until the next day,” Mark laughed, “I mean, she was right to tell us to get some sleep. I’ve dealt with you, you’re a fucking nightmare when you’re tired.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“I remember another thing our stairwell conversations started.” As soon as the words rolled off his tongue, Mark’s eyes widened as Lola choked on the sip of her drink she was taking. “Lola, I’m so sorry I don’t know why I said that.”

And this was why trips down memory lane were dangerous, especially with him. “It’s fine, Mark,” she assured, “we’ve agreed on what those nights in college and law school were and weren’t, right?”

She didn’t like the way he paused before saying, “yeah, right. We set the rules and we were able to separate it out from everything we had going on.” There were very few moments that Lola hated how much she knew him, this was one of those times. The subtle changes in voice octave and posture. Mark was a damn good liar to the untrained eye, but to her, no. She knew him too well.

_ “You know he’s in love with you, right?” _

_ “Mark? No, we’ve just been friends a long time. That’s just how we’re are with each other.. I mean, we do love each other, but it’s not like that.” _

_ “Sure, Lola, whatever you say.”  _

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath before responding, “exactly. It happened. We made our choices and didn’t let it change us. It was just another way we were there for each other when needed.” Lola stopped it there. Now it felt as if she was over justifying things.

“Still trying to decide if that was one of my best or worst ideas,” Mark joked lightly.

_ “Mark, you can’t be serious.” Lola asked carefully. He had to be joking. _

_ “I mean, I wasn’t at first, but now that I think about it...” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Lo, what happened last night-“ _

_ “Nope.” _

_ “What happened last night is just what I’m talking about. We both agree it meant nothing other than just what we both needed in the moment. We both felt better afterwards, right?” _

_ Her eyes rolled reflexively. _

_ “That question isn’t me stroking my own ego, I swear. I’m asking honestly.” _

_ “I mean, yeah, I guess,” she answered reluctantly, but honestly. _

_ “Okay, so we agree. That’s all I’m saying. And I’m not talking about this being an everyday or even every week thing. It can just be another way we’re there for each other. That’s it.” _

_ She hated herself a bit for even considering the possibility. “If we do this. There will be ground rules.” _

_ “Absolutely.” _

_ “The main one being: the minute we feel this changing us we stop.” _

_ “No arguments from me, I’m not losing you over this Lo. You can count on that.” _

It was the sincerity she remembers hearing in his voice that helped her make her final decision on that. She had no regrets, made the conscious choice and stuck by it. “Well considering how bad some of the worst ideas have been, that one was on the better side of things I have to admit.”

“I’ll take that.”

Lola put down her glass and moved closer to him. “Our friendship is one of the most important parts of both of our lives. We don’t let much get in the way of that. No one else outside and not each other.” Though they never talked about it explicitly, the decision not to mess with things was an easy one.

“Of course. You know you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” Mark responded with a hand on her thigh. 

She covered his hand with hers and smiled at him. “And I’ve tried,” her joke seemed to lighten the mood a little. “Now that we’ve gotten past that, you owe me a late night dinner for all of this you put me.”

“Fair enough. Your favorite, open late food truck on 4th?”

“That’s the one.” She grabbed both of their empty glasses. “I’m gonna rinse these out and use the bathroom, be right back.”

Lola walked to the short distance to the bathrooms in the judges’ chambers. She sat the glasses on the counter and went take care of her business. As she washed her hands, she looked at herself in the mirror. She let out a deep sigh. She had no idea why that conversation happened tonight or why memories were popping up in her mind left and right. Mark was the reason for some of it, but she didn’t usually do nostalgic. In any case, it did put somethings into perspective.

Choices were made. No regrets on either side, at least she hoped. Lola loved her life and all the people in it, their specific places in it. She wouldn’t change a thing. She gave an ounce of weight to the thought in another lifetime maybe things would be slightly different. Then pushed the thought from her mind as quickly as it came.

Thoughts, suspicions, and maybes aside, she and Mark would always be just that: Lola and Mark. They’d always have a dynamic that only they fully understood. She knew Mark felt the same. That was all she needed.

Letting out a breath and feeling the previous tension begin to loosen, she smiled to herself in the mirror. She rinsed and dried the glasses, making her way back to her chambers to get her things.

“Finally, I was about to come after you,” Mark said in exaggerated exasperation.

“So you’re really trying to get kicked out of my chambers and not allowed back?” Lola joked in response. She heard Mark’s low chuckles as put the glasses up. 

As she pick up her purse off the desk, Lola spotted the tri-frame photos of her and Mark. Her favorites. Some of the most important moments in her life that she’s shared with him. “Ready?” She asked as she looked up at him.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this written before the season premiere, but, after the episode, I like that I’m posting after. I probably took a little extra creative liberty with their history, but I have a strong feeling that they’ve known each other a long time. hopefully this didn't feel disconnected from the first chapter as it was a little different and elaborated on things Mark eluded to in the 1st chapter.
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think!!


End file.
